I wish that hubby is working a 9-5 job in which he can be home every weekday when we are still awake. And he has annual leave to take when we badly need him for the day.

I am having fever but I can’t be staying at my mom’s place. But I did, last night but I don’t feel comfortable about it. I am a mom now, I have my own home and my own family. I must learn to take care of myself and my family.

I really thank God that my mom is still alive now. What if when God takes her away. Where can I go when I fall sick?

Why is it when I need hubby the most, he can’t be around?

I don’t want to be strong anymore. I don’t want to be independent anymore. I want to be a child again where I will be taken care of 24/7!

Whatever it is, I praise God for His blessing. He may not bless me directly but He blessed my dad instead. And through him, I am able to “grant” my children’s desire to own better bicycles, opened a saving account for my youngest son, bought new clothes for my eldest and some toys too. I still have some cash left to fix my car and my broken glasses.

And my dad is going to buy a new Saga BLM too; meaning we, his children does not have to pay installment to buy him a new car anymore. Initially, it was my idea to share with my siblings to buy him a new car after he met with an accident. I’m kind of relief that he is buying with his own money since we are always tight these days.

I am trying to find the rational behind all the things that is happening in my life right now. What is God trying to teach through all this? What character is He trying to mold?

What are You up to God?

I really praise God that hubby did not bribe. My dad kept telling us that we should just give the police officer RM50. Look the amount of our summoned is just RM20 more. Better pay to the government than letting the money goes into the police officer pocket.

A day before we go to pay the summon, I did some search to find out how much will it cost us and I came to Myeg.com.my. There I found out that if we pay our summon within a month, we can get discount from 30% - 50%.

When paying the summon, the police officer at the counter told us that the summon cost RM150. Then hubby told her what is mentioned in the website and she nodded and told us that we only need to pay RM70. If hubby did not mention about it, I am sure, she won’t give any discount.

I know that I got to renew my road tax by end of last month but due to my hospitalization, I totally forgotten about it because I don’t drive my car every day.

And we got summoned yesterday; a day after my car’s road tax expired.

And hubby refused to ask for pardon and explaining the reason I forget because the police officer hinted hubby to give him bribe!

I was very upset. I so wished hubby would just let me open my mouth and I don’t think we will be summoned.

I wonder how much will it be.

My daughter came home from school telling me that I must pay her teacher. It is beginning of the month and it is fee time. Just 2 months ago I spend quite a big amount to buy book for them. I can’t wait for them to enter Primary One whereby textbooks are provide free to all students. Does the government still practices giving free textbooks? If not, I can always buy 2nd hand ones. In kindy, they change their textbooks every year so I can’t hand down my eldest girl’s textbooks to my other children. They really clever to squeeze our hard earn money eh.