This “Family Planning” got nothing to do with making more babies or stop making babies.

For 2 Sundays, hubby and I got the opportunity to go out “dating”. Leave the children with my mom and we went to have our quiet dinner.

We took this opportunity to share and plan.

He shared about his business and his business plan. By God’s grace, we hope to settle the business loan by the time our youngest baby turns 1 year old.

I shared about our children; their education, and walk with God. I felt that I have a greater task than hubby. I am to raise godly children! This gives me goosebumps!

I shared about my thoughts; being poorer than my other siblings. Hubby made me realised that we are not poorer than them. We just don’t owe the banks and credit card companies a lot money. And we do have a house; 2 apartments to be exact. It just that we don’t live in them and don’t pay for the monthly installment thus I don’t feel like owning them.

Glad to know that I am more blessed than them.

I have stopped considering entering the workforce again.

After 1.5 years not needing to step into the office and more than half a year without any helper helping me with my household and kids, I got the hang of it and kinda loving my new “job”. Even if there is jobs in philly that offer very good remuneration, I will pass without thinking twice.

I find satisfaction and fulfillment when I see my children grows up right under my nose.

Yesterday was our ROM (registration of marriage) 9th anniversary and we totally forgotten about it. Hubby remembers though; a day after that. He told me this morning. If he does not, it won’t come across my mind at all.

I guess it is not a significant date for me to remember. Even though we were legally married since that day, we did not lead a married life until we are married before the Lord on May 12 in the same year.

Looking forward to the month of April and May. April; my No. 4 baby will be 1yo!

Hubby is so relieved that his preaching is over. Even though he has been preaching numerous time, he still feel the tense when it is time for him to preach again. His sermon this time was about Joseph. And I felt so kuncheong whenever he mentioned, “my wife” in his preaching. Dunno what he is going to reveal to the congregation about his wife!

As for me, my freedom is having to have my privacy again in my home coz MIL and her maid has left for KL yesterday. Freedom for me means not much free time to be online but I am free to do whatever I like and wear whatever I like at home. And most of all, no one interferes with the raising of my children. No Mak Mak and Kakak to run to when Mommy says, “No!”

Two Saturdays ago I suffered so much pain on my lower abdomen. When bathing all my 4 children that evening, I thought I was going to die coz it was really really painful. I gave a call to hubby get him to find out the funeral costs just in case my time is going up that day. No lar, I called him to come home to prepare dinner for our children coz I can hardly stand to cook. Sadly, he can’t come home coz his part-time has not come in to work yet. So, I bore the pain a lil while more and prepared a quick dinner; hamburgers.

Last Saturday, the pain came back again but it was not as severe as two Saturdays ago. Well, I am most busy on Saturdays and the children are home. I go more work and cleaning to do and I get easily stress up when they mess up the house and when they had siblings fight.

Now, my toughest assignment is to stay cool on Saturdays despite the workload and screaming children.

On last Sunday we made reservation to watch Avatar. This will also be the first time I am leaving my 9mo baby under the care of my mom for more than 2.5 hours. So I prepared his porridge and brought the slow cooker to my mom’s. My mom never cook his porridge before you see so I can’t just leave everything on the table and leave. I have to give instruction to her on how long to cook it and when to add in the apple pureed. Some of of his grains spilled too, so I have to salvage whatever I can and put it back into the slow cooker. If not, my baby won’t have enough to eat.

On the way to the cinema, hubby took the wrong turn coz he heard me wrongly. We were stucked in a jam and were late. I don’t understand why he must blamed me for being dilly dally at my mom’s. It was he who did not listen to me in the first place.

Honestly, I am still very upset about this.

I’d rather not go for another movie than being blamed for something that I did not do.

I was very excited that we are finally going for a date again. Just hubby and I. We made a reservation to watch Avatar 3D tomorrow afternoon and our children will be in the safe arms of my parents.

Just when I am about to get excited, my right tummy pain became more intense and I was so tempted to pop in painkillers if I can find any. While bathing with the children, the pain was so intense that I raised my voice at them when they dilly dally. I felt very bad after that.

I called hubby hoping that he can come home to prepare dinner for our children and take care of them for a little while while I lie down to let the tummy muscle relax and get some rest. Unfortunately, his helper did not come in yet and he is not sure whether she will come in or not.

I can’t get help from my parents coz they are attending a wedding dinner.

What to do? Cry lor and ask God for help. Thank God the crying and praying helps to release the tense and the pain subsided a little bit and I quickly prepare dinner for my children before they starve.

Just when they are enjoying their burgers, hubby came home. His helper came in. Yay! PTL!!!

Yesterday was the first time I slept 3 hours only without any nap in the afternoon. Surprisingly, I did not feel sleepy at all until I brought my girl back from her school extra curriculum activity in the evening. Once I sat on the sofa and relax, the sleepiness strikes. I tried to nap but my mind could not stop thinking because there are still chores undone. I only managed to finally sleep at around 11pm that night. If this continues for a long term. I will surely need to read up on the eye cream reviews to get rid of the eye bags.

Only 3 hours of sleep and I did not break down today. Well, I guess my body is adjusting to this new schedule.

It is good to cry. I felt better after I cried out all my tiredness, sleeplessness and frustration.

I talked to myself too. Telling ME to be strong and that all this shall pass too. And everything will be better soon.

I must be strong for my children. I have already scared my eldest girl from becoming a mother!

How long does it takes for Michelle, the so called Supermom to breakdown due to lack of sleep and tiredness?

The answer is, exactly 7 days.

And I must sacrifice my nap too to run errands.

I need to go pay apartments maintenance fees, I need to bring the rubber mat to the tenant and I need to go to the bank but I dare no drive there coz I worried that I might doze off when driving!

When can I complete the above task? School holiday I guess coz that is when I don’t have to wake up at 5.30am.

How to release stress? There are lots of way of releasing stress. Some go to Outer Banks vacation rentals, some go for bungee jumping, some just go for a stress therapy massage, some eat and eat and eat…just do something that will take off your mind of the cause of the stress.

I just realized that I have a stress buster with me 24/7. Here is my stress buster…

My ever smiling cutie pie.

When I need someone to make me smile; his smiles melts my heart and can never make me not smile along with him.
When I need someone to hug; he is so huggable.
When I need someone to cuddle; he is so squishy.
When I need someone to enjoy a makan with; he loves food.
When I need someone to scream, he will scream along with me.

etc…

Life would be sooooo stressful is God did not bless me with this cutie pie.

I foresee that this year is going to be a challenging year for me. I am kind of excited to see how well I can cope this time.

Firstly, 3 of my children is going to school. No.1 to Primary School and No.2 & No.3 to kindergarten with different schooling hours. Yours truly is going to be their driver.

No.1 will be studying in a Chinese school and I know no written Mandarin at all! I have no idea how can I guide her with her homework. I also understand that there will be no English taught in that school until she is in Primary 4. So, I must continue to polish up her English at home.

No.2 will be in 6yo kindy class and she still can’t recognise all her ABC, let alone reading books. My No.1 knows her ABC when she is 2yo and started reading at 4yo. No.2 is going to Primary One next year and I have one year to teach her to read. This is going to be a tough job coz I failed miserably before; not enough patience.

No.3, I am taking easy with him coz he is only going to be 4yo this year.

No.4 started crawling yesterday. Soon he would not want to sit in his walker any longer and wants to explore the house on his knees and palms. When this happens, I can no longer mop the floor once a week and close one eye on the mess lying on the floor. They must be crawling baby-proof!

I am not not expecting the family maid will be back that soon coz MIL’s eyes are still not healed. How to heal coz she did not pantang (abstain) from eating unclean food like seafood and certain kind of fish; everything she eats.

Drive more, clean more, cook more, teach more, run errands for hubby whenever possible and blog too!

After being a SAHM for 1.5 years, I think I had enough. I miss my shaking leg time in the office from 8.30am to 5.30pm. And get paid at the end of the month.

Now, not only I don’t get paid, I work 24/7. Ok ok, maybe not 24 hours, 19 hours only coz I sleep for about 5 hours everyday if I don’t nap in the afternoon.

I planned to start working again (half day) next year. I want to work not because of money but I want to get away from the house and my children for a few hours! Sounds like I am a bad mommy.

It is not a problem for me to find a job coz I still receive emails on job vacancy from a job search company. And my ex-company still can’t find replacement as good as myself. I am not bragging but all the graduates that came for interview are not well verse in written and spoken English!

Unfortunately, I did not get the green like from dear hubby. He wants me to be home for our children coz he can’t be there for them everyday. The only time they have their daddy the whole day is on Sunday. On other days, maybe an hour or two if they wake up early or when I bring them to the shop.

Looks like, I will never go back to the working world.

This is the birthday present that I got from hubby.

I was given an option between an Osim Foot and Calve Massager, a Singer Sewing Machine and a Flat Iron. I chose the later coz it is the cheapest.

Thank You very much Dear.

I GOT BIRTHDAY PRESENT THIS YEAR!!!

I’ll let you know what it is on my birthday. Tak lama, a few more days only.

I woke up early in the morning and rush to cook like a mad woman. Baby woke up and pooed before I have time to pack hubby’s lunch and dinner. I have to clean baby first before he mess up the bed. Hubby left for work without packing his own food. I asked, “Don’t you want your lunch?” He said, “No.” Partly because I do not want to wash his basi smelling food containers and so did he. A few times I told him to wash them when he comes back from work but he just leave it on the table till the next morning, unwashed but he has time to surf the net or watch movie!

I think my period is coming coz I am crying right now! Felt so hurt now.

For the past few days, hubby has helped wash the dishes instead of just leaving them in the sink. He even help to wash whatever I left in the sink after cooking. This I normally do if baby wakes up before I finished washing. I’ll wash them when baby takes his nap after his morning bath.

He even helped to clean our son’s vomit which I left to send my eldest girl to art class yesterday. I am so “allergic” to vomit. I will usually end up vomiting if I have to clean them myself!

I am really thankful that hubby helped me with the chores whenever he is around. I really need it.

I love November because…

It is exam month; I love exam.

School holiday is coming.

And most of all, my BIRTHDAY is coming real soon!

November also brings back unhappy memory. November should be the day I gave birth to my first baby but God decided to retrieve him/her after 6 weeks living in my womb. I hope to meet him/her in Heaven when my time on earth is up.

Love is selfish.

I told hubby that if I were to die first when we are still young, I do not want him to re-marry. I want him to take care of our children by himself. Maybe he can employ a maid to help him but with his mother or my mom’s supervision. I know that I would never re-marry if he dies first. No one can ever replace his place in my life. And I want him to do the same too. I can’t bear seeing him together with another woman. See, I am selfish. hehehe.

He told me that he does not think he will do a good job raising our children all by himself. He said, “Either I die first or if you die, please die together with our children.” Like the option is mine like that.

After reading the touching story, he said, “That’s why I said you must die with your children.”

I get very emotional and sensitive. I easily shed tears over little matter like when my girl broke the globe holder which were bought 3 days ago. I cried buckets when reading the story in my previous post. I easily “explode” when my children misbehave. I became extra clean like making sure the glass tiles is squeaky clean and extra careless too like cutting my own fingers when cutting carrot!

But I am happy that my period came coz I get to try using my own home sewn cloth menstrual pad.