My life is not my own. I have no control over it. I want this, I want that but it is God who determines what I get and what I don’t get. Many times, what I want does not coincide with His plan for me and He gave something else. Many times I have to take what He gave whether I like it or not. I can’t throw it away and I can’t give it away either. It is mine to keep forever.
Learning to surrender.
She was cursed with a pig nose due to her great great grandfather’s sin. The only way to break the curse is when “One of her own learns to love her.”
When we hear that, our first thought will be. Must get her to marry a man of her own kind and that man must love her. Unfortunately, none of her own wants to marry her for who/what she is.
Only when she accepts herself, the curse is broken. Then only her mother realised that if she were to love her daughter for who she is (because her mother is her own kind too, need not be a man), the curse may be broken long time ago.
The moral of the story is…God has made us special. We must learn to accept ourselves and love ourselves. How can you expect others to love you if you don’t love yourself?
All the things that happened to me lately. Makes me wonder whether God is punishing me for being disobedient. Just like a parent to a child, when they disobey, we will punish them so that they won’t repeat the same so that they will grow up to be a better person.
After reading one article on the same title, Is God Punishing Me? God is not punishing me; He is disciplining me. Well, it is just a better term to use.
According to the article, punishment is giving us what we deserve. That’s God’s job. And if they trust in Jesus, all our punishment was taken care of on the cross.
We should see it as “discipline” or “correction”.
I see it this way; God is discipling me because He cares for me. He notices me. He loves me.
I need a hug from you Lord to assure me that everything will be alright.
We are conned; one of the tenants was conned too! They left him alone our apartment not knowing that they have shifted. He did not even know that the deposit that he paid to them was not paid to us! He is cheated. And he is a stranger to them.
We are waiting for them to pay us a sum (for the outstanding utility bills) latest by 10th. If not, we are going to make a police report against them. We told them that. I hope that would make them pay. Hubby was a lawyer before and he knows the hassle of it and hope to settle this out of court.
*sigh*
I have been sleeping early for the past few days and that piled up my work. So here am I at hubby’s internet cafe blogging away. Since today is Monday, it is sure a busy day especially people coming to photocopy, print and fax. Hubby asked me to help with the photocopy and I wasted 94 pages! I think he better let me stick with blogging.
He even left the shop for half an hour to go out for lunch with his friend, leaving his wife in hunger. If got the LCD HDTV, at least watching some love and comedy movies would divert my attention from food! 
He came back empty handed!
Well, I will just continue munching my Jacob’s Hi-Cal Vegetables biscuit and cup after cup of Boh Peppermint Tea.
End of last month, we attended yet another wedding dinner in the same hotel. It was the wedding of hubby’s niece. That was a very unique wedding in terms of the races. Hubby’s niece is a Chindian; mother Chinese, father Indian. She is married to a Singh; modern ones without the white turban. I thought Indian and Singh cannot get along! 
And her hubby’s relatives comes from all over the around the world (almost); some from UK, France, US, Australia but surprisingly none from India!
Nowadays wedding is quite different than my time; 7 years ago. There will surely be slide shows and dancing. How I wish I can turn back time and insert those two in my wedding. It is so much fun than just sitting down, eating and going around shouting “Yum Sheng” (that’s “Cheers” in Chinese).
Anyway, hubby said that we are not going to do this for our children. We will just have tea-ceremony and a simple wedding reception for close relatives and friends. No church wedding as that is Western culture.
In that case, I will make sure it will be the most beautiful wedding reception ever with the most beautiful Wedding Reception Flower Arrangements that people will talk for months about it! 
My son is already 2yo and hubby is urging me to have the 4th one. He said that 3 is too few and when it comes to financial need, we will burden them in the future since there is only 3 unlike his siblings; there are 11 of them. He can’t compare his mom and myself. The food that we eat is totally different; our lifestyles too. There is possibility that my life span is shorter than her!
Furthermore, I had breast infection after I gave birth to my son; had a minor surgery to remove the abscess and it took more than month for it to heal. I can’t imagine the pain if the breast were to be engorged again with milk. Nowadays, I often fall sick and experiencing pain on my right tummy again (I have medical history).
Even though I told him all that, he still do not want to comprehend my situation. I think he’d rather see me die earlier. That is what I fear would happened to me after I give birth to the 4th child; my health will continue to deteriorate.
Not many children to take care of me, never mind; I don’t mind living in an institution like Houston assisted living home when I grow old. I want to grow old, not die young.
Ok ok, I admit that I am panicking now.
I have not break the news to my mom yet. I am still acting cool even though to date my earning is less than RM1k and my apartment is still not rented out. Anyone wanna rent is as Holiday Apartment?
Even though I have been bombed, I am struggling to hold every piece of my flesh together.
Why the shopping trip takes so long to arrive one???
Maybe I should look for small business for sale and start my own business while waiting.
Imagine this…
You are engrossed watching your favorite movie for the umpteenth time; let’s say KungFu Panda. Your Dad come and switch off the TV and said, “Enough of DVD, come let’s go shopping.” You throw tantrum because you do not want to go shopping, you want to watch KungFu Panda. You got very mad at your Dad.
But you didn’t know that your Dad has a surprise for you. He is not only going to bring you shopping but he is going to bring you to watch KungFu Panda in a cinema. Much, much better than watching from the pirated DVD.
God has switched off my TV. What is the surprise God???
I do not know what got into my dear hubby today. Earlier in the afternoon, hubby told me over Gmail chat that he is so bored and he felt empty. I felt helpless that I do not know what to do. He sigh so many times that I have to get him out from the house for a drink and a chat. We had our drink and supper but not the chat though because the Mamak stall that we went was showing a horror movie; it caught our attention there! At least it diverted hubby’s thought there for a lil while.
If we have Soccer Goals at home, I think we would be kicking balls. When there are so many things in our mind, playing and sweating it out helps us to forget it for a lil while. Hubby loves soccer but he only get to play it once a week; on Sunday. If the game is one, whether it rain or shine, he will be there sweating it all out.
Oh ya, don’t worry so much about him…it happens from time to time. Women have mood swing during their menses; men also have the same! We just don’t see the blood flowing out; but the hormones are messing them up inside!
The world is a stressful place to be and yet there is nowhere else we can go. Of course, death is one option but that is not the option that we should consider. Whether at work or at home, there would be possible causes of stress whether we look for it or not. The main difference is how we view the problems that we face. Some people are very good at transforming problems and pressures to their benefits. On the other hand, many people need help to do just that. That is where it is good to go for a therapy. Seeing a therapist does not necessarily connotes a negative thing. And many are looking at this option to help them build a better holistic lifestyle.
I did not resign abruptly. It isn’t a good testimony to do that after working for 9 years with the company. So I just called in to inform them that I am taking 1 week leave to mind my children. I hope they will get used to not having me around and will released me without asking me to consider to stay. I felt heavy to leave when my lady boss “beg” me to stay. No matter how stingy they maybe, they do treat me nice most of the time. 
I continued my grass cutting project. Today is the 3rd day already and I am left with about a quarter more to go. Will be able to complete it by this evening. Then I would have a nice trimmed and flat lawn.
Actually I can leave this to the maid to do but I needed to see more greens and need some time alone away from the computer and away from my children to think, talk to God and talk to myself! Surprisingly, my children did not disturb me when I am cutting away.
And YES! I am here on Sunday morning when I should be in church right now. No choice but to skip church today because my 2nd girl is having chicken pox. I already brought her for a short trip to Jusco yesterday’s afternoon for lunch and quick buy and I felt bad after that. I hope the virus was being good yesterday and stayed put.
If your love ones have health problem, the most practical gift to give them is medical jewelry, like bracelet or pendant which their medical information can be engraved on it. This is because, in times of emergency, getting to their purse and wallet could cost life. Medical jewelry comes in gold and silver, anyone would look good wearing them.
My dad’s birthday is coming; since he has a heart problem and also suffering from asma, he can’t simply take any medication. I think, I’ll get one as his birthday present this year.
Yesterday I went for a wedding dinner, a new journey in life has just begun for that couple and soon new life will be formed. This morning I was greeted by a sad news. One of hubby’s cousins just passed away due to bone cancer. He was all well 2 months ago until he was paralyzed waist down. Today I came to know that he had bone cancer many years ago which was healed and it relapsed. He is only 55 years old. Well, life for his beloved that he left behind won’t be that difficult financially because he has term insurance, a coffee shop and children’s that are already working.
If you are given a choice, do you want to know when you will return to HIM?
I have no answer to that yet.
Looks like this week I have to trouble hubby to look for car parts workshop because I accidentally damaged my car door because I was too excited to get so many opps from one advertiser and rushed out to get food to eat to fuel my body. As not to wake up my children, I released the hand brake so that the car will reverse further from the children’s room before I start the engine. But I wasn’t quick enough to close the car door and it got stopped by the garage pole! It forced the car door to be opened more than 90 degrees!!! The car door now can’t be completely closed. 
I love playing softball and baseball. The only difference between these 2 sports is the way the ball is pitched. I used to have quite a number of baseball trophies from my secondary school but they are in the store room now or maybe they has been throw away.
I wonder when I get to Heaven I would receive any trophy. Anyway, that is not important. All I wanna here is “Well Done, My Good and Faithful Servant.” So far I have a long way to go to receive that praise from God.
We just came back from the local Malay stall. We have Roti Canai, Carrot Milk and Lime Juice.
It was a very fruitful supper time.
I talk about blogging, as always. He talked about ministry. We talked about business, income, family, our vision, new year resolution that has yet to be fulfilled.
At the end of it, we felt so refreshed. We got back our focus in life.
Hubby suggested that we should do this weekly. We will see how it goes.
Being spontaneous.
That’s why we did tonight. All we know that Thursday is our night out. We did not plan on how to spend the night. All I know is, I wanted to eat Ikan Bakar.
So we drove all the way to Padang Temu and had our Ikan Bakar at Muara Sg. Duyung. It was raining so, a walk at the beach after dinner is not possible.
Hubby suggested for us to catch a movie. So to Mahkota Parade we went and we watched Escape from Huang Shi, a story based on true life story about a man named George Hogg that lead 60 Chinese orphaned boys to safety from the Japanese army.
I like spontaneity. It’s fun.
Time to go sleep beside my son. I promised him that before I left him with the maid.
Michelle | 
08 27th, 2008| 
