Your buddy is getting married. What will be the best gift for him? Guys deserved a present too you know. Not only for the gals. He is taking a humongous step to commit his life to one single woman. It isn’t an easy task so he deserves to be cheered on. I find that the above t-shirt is cool. It is a perfect gifts for groom. It will make his life easier too. Other ladies will step back after knowing that he has “expired”. LOL.

The month of December is packed with wedding invitations. Our gas supplier told my MIL that he received more than 10 wedding invitation. My dad has to ask my sister for some cash because he does not have enough money to put in the wedding invitation red packet. Weddings = money.

I just read in FB that one of my friend’s friend had their wedding in Bali. That’s romantic. Wedding by the beach. Not any beach but Bali beach. I wonder whether any of them is rich enough to have their wedding in the Caribbean. The weddings in barbados looks pretty romantic too. And the weather is cooler unlike our tropical climate.

Last Sunday, I heard 2 mothers talking about how unromantic their husband are. One of the received a “Thank You” from her husband when she told him “I love You.” And the other got ignored, her “I love You” fell on deaf ears. Thank God my husband does not fall in that category. They commented that most Asian husband are not romantic. Maybe I should talk to her husband and get him to surprise her with a thank you gift instead of just saying “Thank You” to her “I Love You”. You can send thank you gift fast through Berries. A basket of chocolate can anytime melts a woman’s heart.

This is an email which I wrote to someone recently…

Marriage is never a bed of roses but most important there must be trust and transparently in marriage be it friends or money matters. My husband knows most of my friends; mostly online friends. I tell him everything and sometimes things that i cannot tell directly to him, i blog about it coz he reads my blog.

And when it comes to money, he knows how much i earn n save and so do i with his. We didn’t have any separate savings account; my money is his money, his money is my money. I helped him a lot too with his business when i was still working. I literally support him and the family when he first started his business. Even when we quarrel, we dont bring it up coz i do it sincerely. He is my husband what; if he susah, we also susah mah. i know most my my friends hv a secret bank account that their hubby didnt know about. this is not healthy in marriage. it shows that we dont trust our husband. and when the husband sense that we dont trust them, they will be very defensive and do the same too.

the only way to solve your marriage problem is to talk, talk and talk. no quarreling, no shouting, no screaming and no accusing pls. try to control your temper even when he did not control his. you cant think straight and rationally when both of you are shouting to each other.

for him to envy you, i agree it is wrong. ask him what is his expectation of you. tell him what is your expectation of him. discuss about it. he may not be able to fulfill all your expectation and so do you. find the best way to meet each other expectation.

when it comes to sharing about our daily life; what we do, where we go, who is our friends, what we eat, what we talk about with our friends etc. for men, you must ask them. man are not made to be a chatter box like us ladies. they will only tell if we ask. and they dont tell in detail also. so we have to be specific with our questions.

don’t give up so fast in your marriage ok. marriage is like a marathon. u run, u fall, u get up, you run again, you feel tired but you must not quit. u must finish the race. “till death do us part.” the first 7 years of marriage is very challenging. after that, it will be easier but not without problem though.

in a way problem is good. it helps the couple to know each other better n when both of u come out of this problem it is like a big wall that is separating both of u is broken down. u’ll appreciate each other more n love each other more too.

This is us on our 10th wedding anniversary. This year we have a 4mo baby tagging along. We had lunch at Kenny Roger’s Roaster. I browsed through our previous anniversary post, we ate at Kenny Roger’s during last year’s wedding anniversary. Hubby picked the place!

Before lunch, we have a good massage session at Phoenix Health Care & Foot Reflexology Centre, Melaka Raya. Hubby went for the 2 hours Body Massage with Oil and I had 1.5 hours of Foot Reflexology while carrying and nursing my 4mo baby! She was quite an entertainment to the Myanmar masseur.

We actually planned to watch movie, Thor but decided otherwise because the show is in 3D. Not comfy wearing the 3D glasses with our specs on. So, after lunch we had McD Sundae and Pretzel Stick with Eclairs for dessert. Then we head home to fulfill our parental duty; making sure the school goers complete their homework, and eat their dinner before we go out again for dinner.

We had Satay Celup for dinner; 16 sticks each. I wanted to eat Satay Celup at Capitol but by the time we reached the shop, we saw lotsa people queuing outside the shop to wait for an empty table. No-uh, not my style to queue for food, with or without baby around. I will only queue for food at the canteen or if I have no other food to eat (kinda life n death situation). We ended up at Ban Lee Siang, Jln Ong Kim Wee for our Satay Celup dinner; plenty of empty tables.

We do watch movie. Not in the cinema but in the comfort of our room. We watched Waiting Forever.

That’s about it on our 10th Wedding Anniversary.

In the church that I am currently attending, there are many Indonesian ladies. They are either the factory workers or married to the local man here. Most of them are married to either a middle age man; some 20 years older than them or divorcee. They are not rich though; middle income. Some are in transportation careers like lorry driver and taxi driver, some are hawkers and some are just construction laborers. These ladies don’t mind though; as long as they get to leave their country and leave the poverty behind, they close their eyes on how not handsome or old their husband is.

Yesterday we celebrated our 10th Marriage Anniversary; the day we legally become husband and wife. Being someone from a legal background (my dear hubby), he prefers to observe this day compared to our wedding day that was on May 12. I prefer to celebrate May 12; the day I wore my beautiful wedding gown and walk down the aisle with my dad. In the end, we got 2 anniversaries to celebrate. Yay!

At first we were quite disappointed that we won’t be able to celebrate this day because hubby got to work till 9pm. The day before yesterday, hubby managed to get his ex-part time staff to come in for a few hours while we go pamper ourselves on our special day.

We went for our massages, then to lunch at a Japanese restaurant; San Ramen at Mahkota Parade. I had Shabu-Shabu and hubby, Salmon Ramen. The food is kinda bland to our taste bud. Japanese food is not for us. We then bought some bread at Pattifrance.

Then we went to Bunga Raya to buy some felt materials for me to make hair clips then we rush back home because hubby got to start work already.

1st - Paper

2nd - Cotton

3rd - Leather

4th - Linen

5th - Wood

6th - Iron

7th - Copper

8th - Bronze

9th - Willow/Copper

10th - Aluminum

11th - Steel

12th - Silk/Linen

13th - Lace

14th - Ivory

15th - Crystal

20th - China

25th - Silver

30th - Pearl

35th - Coral

40th - Ruby

45th - Sapphire

50th - Gold

55th - Emerald

60th - Diamond

65th - Blue Sapphire

70th - Platinum

*****

So this year, hubby and I will be celebrating our Aluminum wedding anniversary. I got less than 3 months to think what “aluminum” gift to give him! hahaha.

Maybe couples are tying the know today. In my kampung itself, there are a few weddings going on. Maybe Chinese went to register their marriage today too. Our Malaysian First Astronaut did not want to miss this perfect 10 date either. I managed to watch for a few minutes the “acara bersanding” on TV3 just now. Looks like our Malaysian First Astronaut wedding is more grand than the wedding of the Sultans. He has royal guests from all around the world and 100 astronaut came to his wedding too. Sungguh bertuah.

He bought a slack. It needs to be altered; shorten. Since I can sew now. I offered to do it for him. So, I happily took his old pants and used the same measurement. The next day, I happily inform him that I have shorten his slack. Instead of thanking me, he said in a not no nice tone, “You know my measurement meh?” I told him I followed his old pants. “You want me to sweep the floor with my pants arh? I still need to fold that pants you know.” How would I know, he has a few pants and I don’t keep track which he folds and which he does not. I wish he would use different approach so that I won’t feel that hurt like, “Thanks Dear BUT if you follow that pants, it is still be long bla bla bla bla.”

Ok ok lar…I am being very sensitive here.

Halleluyah! We have finally paid up our last 1k beginning of this month. It was not easy you know. 1k may seems little to some of you but it took us 3 months to have that extra 1k in our business account. I am so glad that part of my hard earned online income is also being used to pay up the business loan. I jokingly tell hubby that half of the business is mine!

Do you know that not all wives are willing to share their income with their husband? I know a few. One of them is my ex-colleague. Her salary is hers and her hubby didn’t even know how much she has in her savings account! This is really not healthy in a marriage. I don’t understand how can a wife live her everyday life with the husband thinking that he might leave me one day for another woman. So, she must save some for her “in case” future. Where is the trust? Where is the transparency? Will the marriage survive with this kind of attitude?

After 9 years of marriage, I am thinner and he is fatter.

Nothing special on this 9th wedding anniversary. I left our children home around 7.15pm with maid and MIL and head to hubby’s shop with my Canon camera. Must captured our special day mah. We then left to the new Jusco for dinner and jalan-jalan. Hubby wanted to eat something that we often eat when we were younger. So we ended up at Kenny Roger’s. Being the only customer there, we were served with super shrink chicken (spring chicken?), over steamed corn and dunno how many times reheated baked bean. If I did not come with hubby, I think I will just walk out from the restaurant.

After dinner, we had a cup of yogurt ice-cream each at Kaizer. Yum! Then we just hold hands and window shop. By 9.30pm, we left Jusco then I headed home to our children who misses me a lot, especially my baby who refuses to sleep without me. Hubby came home shortly after that.

I breastfed Baby to sleep and I slept till the next morning.

The end.

How many of you can agree with me on the above phrase? I am not talking about incest! I am talking about your dad’s character in your husband.

The father is the first and most significant role model in a girl’s life. That’s the first man that they loved and look up too. Unconsciously, we will look for a man just like our dad provided he is a good dad.

I married my dad. My hubby manages our finance just like my dad; even my mom commented on that. My hubby does not talk much; just like my dad. My hubby leaves the household chores solely to me; just like my dad. Never once I see my dad sweeps, mop, cook or hang the laundry. My dad never bath us!

Thank God my hubby is not 100% my dad. He is not hot-tempered like my dad. He does bathe his children, mops, sweep, cook and hang laundry when I show my long face.

I see my hubby as the better version of my dad.

One of the problems in marriage is money matters. To me, no matter who is earning more or who is the breadwinner, we must have trust when it comes to money. We must find
budgeting tips too.

I really don’t agree with some couples who has a separate bank account unknown by their spouse. Their reason is, just in case my spouse left me for another one.

If this is the case, there is always the worry that your spouse might leave you. Think too much until it will affect the relationship coz there is no trust when you worry.

Think about it.

This “Family Planning” got nothing to do with making more babies or stop making babies.

For 2 Sundays, hubby and I got the opportunity to go out “dating”. Leave the children with my mom and we went to have our quiet dinner.

We took this opportunity to share and plan.

He shared about his business and his business plan. By God’s grace, we hope to settle the business loan by the time our youngest baby turns 1 year old.

I shared about our children; their education, and walk with God. I felt that I have a greater task than hubby. I am to raise godly children! This gives me goosebumps!

I shared about my thoughts; being poorer than my other siblings. Hubby made me realised that we are not poorer than them. We just don’t owe the banks and credit card companies a lot money. And we do have a house; 2 apartments to be exact. It just that we don’t live in them and don’t pay for the monthly installment thus I don’t feel like owning them.

Glad to know that I am more blessed than them.

Yesterday was our ROM (registration of marriage) 9th anniversary and we totally forgotten about it. Hubby remembers though; a day after that. He told me this morning. If he does not, it won’t come across my mind at all.

I guess it is not a significant date for me to remember. Even though we were legally married since that day, we did not lead a married life until we are married before the Lord on May 12 in the same year.

Looking forward to the month of April and May. April; my No. 4 baby will be 1yo!

For the past few days, hubby has helped wash the dishes instead of just leaving them in the sink. He even help to wash whatever I left in the sink after cooking. This I normally do if baby wakes up before I finished washing. I’ll wash them when baby takes his nap after his morning bath.

He even helped to clean our son’s vomit which I left to send my eldest girl to art class yesterday. I am so “allergic” to vomit. I will usually end up vomiting if I have to clean them myself!

I am really thankful that hubby helped me with the chores whenever he is around. I really need it.

Love is selfish.

I told hubby that if I were to die first when we are still young, I do not want him to re-marry. I want him to take care of our children by himself. Maybe he can employ a maid to help him but with his mother or my mom’s supervision. I know that I would never re-marry if he dies first. No one can ever replace his place in my life. And I want him to do the same too. I can’t bear seeing him together with another woman. See, I am selfish. hehehe.

He told me that he does not think he will do a good job raising our children all by himself. He said, “Either I die first or if you die, please die together with our children.” Like the option is mine like that.

After reading the touching story, he said, “That’s why I said you must die with your children.”

Love conquers all.